friday joke

[Wul]

Did you hear about the cannibal who liked peanut butter?












































.....he ate his son...pat!:I

Baboom!







<thanks to boogie in the morning on Forthone>

[Big Gordy]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was sore :dead: What about this story reported to be a true claim to an insurance company (even if its not true its still soooooooooooooo funny :clown:)

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on a roof of a new 6-storey building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them down by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks onto it, then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note that in block 11 of the accident report form that I weight 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel, which was by now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explain the fractured skull, minor abrasion and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid assent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were 2 knuckles deep into my pulley, fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the 2 fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seem to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only 3 vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mine and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin it’s journey back down onto me. This explains the 2 broken legs.
I hope this answers your enquiry.

[Wul]

Yeh heard that one too - ouch!