Once there was a Montrose resident with a Burberry carpet. He decided to go to the Mini Dealership because there was a Burberry MINI being launched and he bought it and added a Nodding Guinea Pig and a matching singing ardvark on a snow board, wallet now empty he headed home.
Safely back home he put on a Rod Stewart style leopard skin, then sold it on E-Bay for a quid. He then went to Buicks to buy a Burberry lamp shade for his car awning and porch so that he could sit and worship his shiney brand new gearshift and his burberry Y-Fronts that he wore on his head.
His friend from Falkirk said Stouffa's been mugged by a Barbie aka daisy who started violently flashing her spotlights in celebration as the freak from Montrose made toasted cheese from a chicken kebab from the far off land aberdeen airport lounge.
The idiotic neighbour one day decided to dig holes in the runway at Dyce Airport using a teaspoon he stole from Bonnie Scotlands car boot sale, on the runway he needed the toilet, using a hole caused by the great weight of fallen Aberdonian wallets was no good because the Burberry toilet paper wasn't capable of with-standing the composition of thick sludgy, black mingin', heavily flammable, stodgy deposits of north sea crude. The oilfield consultant refused to attend the next orgy because Daisy was ignoring his advances. So, stouffer was on bricks again, but still able and willing to assist uncle Shoppie catch the BUS. 'My ONE's gubbed, but Fontals ONE is FAR away', said uncle Shoppie. Never mind, its friday night and I think I'll hotwire the Allegro with rope and Burberry nicker elastic, kindly provided by Buicks of Montrose.
Meanwhile in Edinburgh another irate manager in a carpark...
