JOKE

[gauldrymini]

This one is not bad...

A young man starts a new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First he has to clear the weeds from the exotic fish pool. As he does this, a piranha jumps out and bites him. In a panic, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of cleaning out the primate house, he is attacked by two aggressive chimpanzees, who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes wildly at the two chimps with his spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, of course, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by a swarm of angry bees. He grabs the spade and smashes several of them to a pulp. He throws them into the lion enclosure, because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and asks, "What's the food like here?"
The lion replies: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."

[Gismo]

Groan

[stoney]

not 2 bad made me chuckle

[Craig]

That a morecambe and wise special !!

[MINIme:)]

...and you can't beat Morecombe & Wise :)

[AndyP & Lenore]

Andrew, please don't give up the day job and go into stand-up. Although it did seem to work for Messers Wise and Morecambe.

A.

[gauldrymini]

Here is another winner...


There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.

One morning, the papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage."

The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes."

As the baby mole repeatedly tried to stick his head out of the hole to get a whiff, he became frustrated because the two bigger moles were in the way.

Unable to take it any longer, the baby mole mumbled, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."

[Gismo]

Shakes head

[stoney]