sedgie
1st October 2006, 07:54 AM
>> >Being British is about driving in a German car to
an Irish pub for a
>> >Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an
Indian curry or a
>> >Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish
furniture and watch
American
>> >shows on a Japanese TV.
>> >
>> >And the most British thing of all?
>> >
>> >
>> >Suspicion of anything foreign.
>> >
>> >Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get
to your house
faster
>> >than an ambulance.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick
people walk all the
way to
>> >the back of the shop to get their prescriptions
while healthy people
can
>> >buy cigarettes at the front.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do people order double
cheeseburgers, large
fries
>> >and a DIET coke.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open
and chain the
pens to
>> >the counters.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth
thousands of pounds on
the
>> >drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in
the garage.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines
to screen calls and
>> >then have call waiting so we won't miss a call
from someone we
didn't
>> >want to talk to in the first place.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking
places in front of a
>> >skating rink.
>> >
>> >NOT TO MENTION...
>> >
>> >3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery
works on their tongue.
>> >
>> >142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all
pins from new
shirts.
>> >
>> >
>> >58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp
knives instead of
>> >screwdrivers.
>> >
>> >31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their
Christmas tree while
the
>> >fairy lights were plugged in.
>> >
>> >19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing
that Christmas
>> >decorations were chocolate.
>> >
>> >British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year
after cracker
pulling
>> >accidents.
>> >
>> >101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of
plastic toys pulled
out
>> >of the soles of their feet.
>> >
>> >18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new
jumper with a lit
>> >cigarette in their mouth.
>> >
>> >A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the
last two years after
>> >opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
>> >
>> >5 Brits were injured last year in accidents
involving out of Control
>> >Scalextric cars.
>> >
>> >and finally.........
>> >
>> >In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst
throwing up into the
>> >toilet.
an Irish pub for a
>> >Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an
Indian curry or a
>> >Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish
furniture and watch
American
>> >shows on a Japanese TV.
>> >
>> >And the most British thing of all?
>> >
>> >
>> >Suspicion of anything foreign.
>> >
>> >Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get
to your house
faster
>> >than an ambulance.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick
people walk all the
way to
>> >the back of the shop to get their prescriptions
while healthy people
can
>> >buy cigarettes at the front.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do people order double
cheeseburgers, large
fries
>> >and a DIET coke.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open
and chain the
pens to
>> >the counters.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth
thousands of pounds on
the
>> >drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in
the garage.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines
to screen calls and
>> >then have call waiting so we won't miss a call
from someone we
didn't
>> >want to talk to in the first place.
>> >
>> >Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking
places in front of a
>> >skating rink.
>> >
>> >NOT TO MENTION...
>> >
>> >3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery
works on their tongue.
>> >
>> >142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all
pins from new
shirts.
>> >
>> >
>> >58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp
knives instead of
>> >screwdrivers.
>> >
>> >31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their
Christmas tree while
the
>> >fairy lights were plugged in.
>> >
>> >19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing
that Christmas
>> >decorations were chocolate.
>> >
>> >British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year
after cracker
pulling
>> >accidents.
>> >
>> >101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of
plastic toys pulled
out
>> >of the soles of their feet.
>> >
>> >18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new
jumper with a lit
>> >cigarette in their mouth.
>> >
>> >A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the
last two years after
>> >opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
>> >
>> >5 Brits were injured last year in accidents
involving out of Control
>> >Scalextric cars.
>> >
>> >and finally.........
>> >
>> >In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst
throwing up into the
>> >toilet.