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Monsta Mo Mini
9th October 2003, 07:06 PM
A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they
were asked if they could identify a customers personality on what
drinksthey ordered.

Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

WOMEN WHO DRINK:

Drink: Beer.
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality: Flaky, annoy ing, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas eg; Scotch and dry
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink. . . . .

Drink : Water
Personality : Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach : Don't.

Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler, etc
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually
> >>has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Drink: Baileys.
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Drink: Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get
> >>drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.



IF MEN DRINK

As always, very simple and clear cut ...

Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid ...

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Premium Lo cal Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid...

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid...

Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another...

Water : He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth and still wants to get laid ...

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a Sophisticated image and help him get laid ...

Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf...Desperate to get laid ...

Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid...

Whiskey : He doesn't give two ****s about anything and will hit anyone who will get in hi s way of getting laid ..

Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into geting laid ...

Rum or Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid...

Bacardi Breezer, vodka cruiser, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler etc :
He's gay (Blatantly) don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change..