Monsta Mo Mini
9th October 2003, 07:06 PM
A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they
were asked if they could identify a customers personality on what
drinksthey ordered.
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
WOMEN WHO DRINK:
Drink: Beer.
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality: Flaky, annoy ing, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas eg; Scotch and dry
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink. . . . .
Drink : Water
Personality : Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach : Don't.
Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler, etc
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually
> >>has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.
Drink: Baileys.
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
Drink: Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get
> >>drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.
IF MEN DRINK
As always, very simple and clear cut ...
Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid ...
Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.
Premium Lo cal Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid
Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid...
Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid...
Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another...
Water : He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth and still wants to get laid ...
Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a Sophisticated image and help him get laid ...
Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf...Desperate to get laid ...
Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid...
Whiskey : He doesn't give two ****s about anything and will hit anyone who will get in hi s way of getting laid ..
Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into geting laid ...
Rum or Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid...
Bacardi Breezer, vodka cruiser, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler etc :
He's gay (Blatantly) don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change..
were asked if they could identify a customers personality on what
drinksthey ordered.
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
WOMEN WHO DRINK:
Drink: Beer.
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality: Flaky, annoy ing, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas eg; Scotch and dry
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink. . . . .
Drink : Water
Personality : Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach : Don't.
Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler, etc
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually
> >>has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.
Drink: Baileys.
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
Drink: Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get
> >>drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.
IF MEN DRINK
As always, very simple and clear cut ...
Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid ...
Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.
Premium Lo cal Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid
Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid...
Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid...
Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another...
Water : He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth and still wants to get laid ...
Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a Sophisticated image and help him get laid ...
Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf...Desperate to get laid ...
Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid...
Whiskey : He doesn't give two ****s about anything and will hit anyone who will get in hi s way of getting laid ..
Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into geting laid ...
Rum or Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid...
Bacardi Breezer, vodka cruiser, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler etc :
He's gay (Blatantly) don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change..