Crombers
22nd September 2005, 10:48 PM
A Glesga Burd goes tae the social tae register fur child benefit. "How
many children?" asks the civil servant "10" replies the girl. 10???"
says the civil servant.. "What are their names?" "Alec, Alec, Alec,
Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec "Doesn't that get
confusing?" "Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot
playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or
ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..." "What if you want to speak to
one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant. "aw 'at's easy,"
says the girl... "A jist yaze thur surnames"
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A Glesga burd walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the
counter. "Ah'll be back ra morra efternin tae pick up ma dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "Naw" she replies. "This
time it's mayonnaise."
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Glesga burd enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "Gies that rid yin"
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
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A Glesga burd is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm
going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Morag."
Medic: "OK Morag, is this your car?"
Morag: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Morag: "Glesga"
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A Glesga burd was driving down the M8 when her car phone rang. It was her
boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Listen Doll, I just heard on the news
that thur's a motor gawn the wrang wie oan the M8. Better watch yersel'!"
"It's no' jist wan motor!" said the girl, "There's fu***n' hunners o'
them!"
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many children?" asks the civil servant "10" replies the girl. 10???"
says the civil servant.. "What are their names?" "Alec, Alec, Alec,
Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec "Doesn't that get
confusing?" "Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot
playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or
ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..." "What if you want to speak to
one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant. "aw 'at's easy,"
says the girl... "A jist yaze thur surnames"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Glesga burd walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the
counter. "Ah'll be back ra morra efternin tae pick up ma dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "Naw" she replies. "This
time it's mayonnaise."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glesga burd enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "Gies that rid yin"
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
A Glesga burd is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm
going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Morag."
Medic: "OK Morag, is this your car?"
Morag: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Morag: "Glesga"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Glesga burd was driving down the M8 when her car phone rang. It was her
boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Listen Doll, I just heard on the news
that thur's a motor gawn the wrang wie oan the M8. Better watch yersel'!"
"It's no' jist wan motor!" said the girl, "There's fu***n' hunners o'
them!"
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