Air travel

[Neil - TXJ]

After yet another flight today some observations:-

Why when checking in online the emergency exit seats are always taken but are empty when you get on the plane
Small people should be banned from emergency exit seats
Can all airports agree that when going through security if I need to take off my belt and remove my shoes
How can I check in online and get on a plane without showing any id - great security
How many people have ever survived a plane crash because they were wearing a life jacket - particularly when flying over land. I am particularly glad it also has a whistle!
If luggage has wheels on it, it is isn't hand luggage - put it in the hold
1 piece of hand luggage should be 1 piece. There are clearly a lot of people who can't count
Why are there shops at airports - if you want clothes etc buy them before you get to the airport
If it is the middle of the afternoon don't take up 4 seats at the airport by lying down, as I want to sit down
Airports make motorway services look cheap
I can get free wi-fi from Starbucks but not from an airport where I have spent several hundred pounds
Why do I have to turn off my MP3 player for take off and landing. Should I also remove my battery from my digital watch and remove my pacemaker if I have one
Why does everybody ignore being told not turn on their phones until they are in the terminal
You can't smoke anywhere nowadays so why keep telling me not to smoke on a plane
Why do people still try an take liquids through security and then get angry when they can't
What does doors to cross check and manual mean
Why does it always take longer than 10 minutes after then say 10 minutes to landing
Why stand up when the plane stops - you can't go anywhere until the plane doors open and then the same people are seen waiting to collect their luggage
I don't want to hire a car so stop telling me about it
Why call me to board and they make me stand and wait

I love flying 😊✈

[stoney]

Pmsl just been thro the same thing :lol:

[Craig]

:lol: 2 days off now Neil ;)

[weefossy]

20+ yrs of doing it 3 -4 times a week and I still PMSL.....asked these same questions hundreds of times before I retired. Especially 10 mins to landing.....20 mins before you landed!
On a London Shuttle it meant you could only listen to your i pod for about 20 mins in total while the seat belt signs were off.
Another one, why do the numpties wait till they are right at the security conveyor belt before they start to take off scarf, gloves, coat and get their laptop out.....Doh that annoyed me.

[EcosseGP]

After yet another flight today some observations:-

Why when checking in online the emergency exit seats are always taken but are empty when you get on the plane
Small people should be banned from emergency exit seats
Can all airports agree that when going through security if I need to take off my belt and remove my shoes
How can I check in online and get on a plane without showing any id - great security
How many people have ever survived a plane crash because they were wearing a life jacket - particularly when flying over land. I am particularly glad it also has a whistle!
If luggage has wheels on it, it is isn't hand luggage - put it in the hold
1 piece of hand luggage should be 1 piece. There are clearly a lot of people who can't count
Why are there shops at airports - if you want clothes etc buy them before you get to the airport
If it is the middle of the afternoon don't take up 4 seats at the airport by lying down, as I want to sit down
Airports make motorway services look cheap
I can get free wi-fi from Starbucks but not from an airport where I have spent several hundred pounds
Why do I have to turn off my MP3 player for take off and landing. Should I also remove my battery from my digital watch and remove my pacemaker if I have one
Why does everybody ignore being told not turn on their phones until they are in the terminal
You can't smoke anywhere nowadays so why keep telling me not to smoke on a plane
Why do people still try an take liquids through security and then get angry when they can't
What does doors to cross check and manual mean
Why does it always take longer than 10 minutes after then say 10 minutes to landing
Why stand up when the plane stops - you can't go anywhere until the plane doors open and then the same people are seen waiting to collect their luggage
I don't want to hire a car so stop telling me about it
Why call me to board and they make me stand and wait

I love flying 😊✈

Lol some valid points there ... and I'm sure this brought mo than a few smiles to those that fly. Can answer some of your questions above (with a genuine answer) but you forgot the ..

Why do they always dim the lights on take off and landing but leave you with a reading light
Why do they always say if the missing passenger doesn't show up we'll remove his luggage from the plane which inevitably means they take another 30 minutes looking for it in the hold .. (quicker to hunt down the missing passenger)
Why do they ask you to fasten your seatbelt and check it .. but then you can undo it at any time after that.

[Neil - TXJ]

The scary bits is why they do certain things - these may be old wives tales but;-

Brace position - so it is easier to identify you after an accident as less impact damage to your face
Blinds raised - so if there is a fire on take off the fire brigade have a bitter idea of where the fire is

Dad and Weefossy - more good frustrations!

The post helped me get rid of some of my frustrations of the day - but now need to pack for tomorrow but that won't take me long

Cheers

[AndyP & Lenore]

"In the event of a drop in cabin pressure, masks will drop from above. Remember to fit your own mask before helping others."

What difference does it make who's mask goes on first? We're likely to fire into the ground like a dart and the last thing that will go through our mind will be the guy in the back row. But as long as he put his mask on before he helped anyone else, that's fine.

[AndyP & Lenore]

This also reminds me of a list of maintenance reports left by pilots for maintenance technicians.

There's been some debate about how genuine these comments/reports are and the replies. But whatever, they are hilarious. And re-posted here for your viewing pleasure...

Pilot maintenance complaints

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[Neil - TXJ]

This also reminds me of a list of maintenance reports left by pilots for maintenance technicians.

There's been some debate about how genuine these comments/reports are and the replies. But whatever, they are hilarious. And re-posted here for your viewing pleasure...

Pilot maintenance complaints

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Made me laugh 😊

[MINIme:)]

:lol:

looking forward already to my easyjet flight next week.... :lol: I just LOVE the cattlepen you get to wait in at Luton

[LadyR]

I'll be laughing about this on my way back to work on Monday :D
(and feeling very grateful that its just planes and not a Bond chopper I have to take to get me there!!)