Question.

[Big Col]

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Man I'm bored again.

[Gismo]

You don't know the meaning of bored, i've been stuck on this ickle rig since last wednesday and have been trying to get home since friday :evil:

To answer your question though, it's about 3 metric tonnes before he gets tired :I

[Big Col]

quote:Originally posted by Bonnie Scotland

To answer your question though, it's about 3 metric tonnes before he gets tired :I


Really? That's interesting 'cos when I asked the question here at work I was told :

"A would chuck would chuck no amount of wood as a wood chuck can't chuck wood"

So I said

"Yeah but if a wood chuck could chuck wood and a wood chuck would chuck wood, how much wood would a wood chuck chuck?"

and HE said

"A wood chuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood"

[Gismo]

I'm well aware that a wood chuck can't chuck wood, but, the question was:-
"How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

So, this implies that a wood chuck can chuck wood, hence my correct answer :evil::p

[Burple]

quote:Originally posted by Bonnie Scotland

I'm well aware that a wood chuck can't chuck wood, but, the question was:-
"How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"
So, this implies that a wood chuck can chuck wood, hence my correct answer :evil::p


but where would the wood chuck chuck his wood? would he have a wood chuck truck to chuck his wood chuck wood onto? and would the wood that the wood chuck chucked be good wood to chuck...onto his truck?
:p

[Gismo]

That wasn't the question, please stay on topic :evil:;):p:)

[Big Col]

Ahhh see I never said you answer on the amount of wood a wood chuck would chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood was wrong. I was just pointing out that I was only told that a wood chuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood. You were good enough to tell me that when a wood chuck would chuck all the wood he could he would chuck about 3 metric tonnes and I thank you for the clarification. :)


Although I have to point out that my question of "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood" never implied that a wood chuck could chuck would. In fact it said "IF a wood chuck could chuck wood" and did not imply that a wood chuck could chuck wood.

[Gismo]

The word "IF" implies that the wood chuck can chuck wood in this case even though the whole world knows a wood chuck can't chuck wood ;)

[Big Col]

quote:Originally posted by low_n_loud1
but where would the wood chuck chuck his wood? would he have a wood chuck truck to chuck his wood chuck wood onto? and would the wood that the wood chuck chucked be good wood to chuck...onto his truck?
:p




With any luck a wood chuck would have a truck to chuck his wood into if he would chuck and could chuck wood. On the other hand the wood chuck had no luck then the unlucky wood chuck would be stuck with no truck in which he could chuck or would chuck wood.

[Big Col]

quote:Originally posted by Bonnie Scotland

The word "IF" implies that the wood chuck can chuck wood in this case even though the whole world knows a wood chuck can't chuck wood ;)


The word "IF" does not imply that a would chuck can chuck wood, the word "IF" in this instance is saying asking hypothetically how much wood a would chuck could chuck and would chuck if hypothetically a wood chuck could chuck and would chuck wood. I do agree with you, however, that the whole world does know that the wood chuck can't chuck wood but it makes you wonder if the would chuck would chuck wood even if he could.

[Gismo]

Sorry, gotta disagree, in your scenario the word "IF" does imply that it can :evil:

[Big Col]

Noooooo it doesn't. It's asking you to hypothetically say it can. That's different to saying that it can. Although I will concede that I am hypothetically saying it can for the purposes of my question. :D

[Gismo]

I've contacted my laywers and have instructed them to start legal proceedings 8)
I've also contacted ACASS and am currently on the look out for a grammar expert to confirm my correctness :eek::p;)

Message to Big Gordy, give this man some work to do, go sell some valves :D

[Big Col]

oooh I'd strongly advise you to talk to your legal team before you start those proceedings as they will doubtless tell you that I'm correct and will only charge you £12,000 to do so. This is quite a saving considering the millions the judge would award me in compensation for you doubting me.

Also...valves? VALVES??? :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: PFFFFF!

[Burple]

So....

If a wood chuck could chuck wood he would?
and if the plucky wood chuck could chuck all the good wood he could get his mucky little wood chuck paws on, he'd chuck the wood onto his wood chuck wood truck if he had a wood chuck wood truck to chuck his wood chuck wood onto?
So... back to the original question... does anyone really give a wood chuck flying f***??

;):p

My head hurts...

[Big Col]

<shrugs> I dunno. I was just asking a hypothetical question. :)

[Monsta Mo Mini]

Col... the men in white coats are on their way.

Alan...you've forgotten to take your pills again haven't you?!

[Big Col]

Ahhh but do they have a straight jacket that could fit or would fit the wood chuck?

[Monsta Mo Mini]

<runs away until said men in white coats with "one-size-fits all" straight jacket arrive>

[Gismo]

That's a nice jacket, can i try it on :eek:
See ya in court big man

[Julz]

There is not only the dilema of how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood <phew>, but also, how far would a wood chuck drive his truck if a wood chuck could drive his truck!!:clown:

[sleepyrascal]

The answer is. The woodchuck = A. The wood = B. Chucking = C

A+B+C/2*7 = chuckedWood

Therefore, using woodchuck theorem, If a woodchuck developed the mutated ability to chuck wood, and he had some spare wood lying around, he wouldn't chuck any, because why would he. What benefit is there to chucking some wood? would you chuck wood if you could chuck wood? I wouldn't chuck wood, but I can chuck wood.

[sleepyrascal]

You may now start advance woodchuck theorem by incorporating the following words. chuck duck muck suck luck truck tuck puc pluc kluk frock sack clock buck. Theres another one that starts with F, just cant remeber it though.

[broken_brian]

bang i have shot the pesky wood chuck so that is the end of that ha :evil:

now go do some work :p

ps can i get one of those nice jackets as well

[Gismo]

Sorry for delayed response, pesky jacket is all mixed up, somehow my hands appear to be behind my back and typing with my nose takes ages
Anyway, where did that flippin wood chuck go 8)

[The Dogfather]

A recent article in the New York Times reports on the work of New York state wildlife expert Richard Thomas, who found that a woodchuck could (and does) chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equivalent to the weight of the dirt, or 700 pounds.

Hope this helps with this obviously important discussion. Can I also pose the perplexing question 'Why does she sell seashells on the seashore?'

[Burple]

quote:Originally posted by sleepyrascal

The answer is. The woodchuck = A. The wood = B. Chucking = C
A+B+C/2*7 = chuckedWood
Therefore, using woodchuck theorem, If a woodchuck developed the mutated ability to chuck wood, and he had some spare wood lying around, he wouldn't chuck any, because why would he. What benefit is there to chucking some wood? would you chuck wood if you could chuck wood? I wouldn't chuck wood, but I can chuck wood.


But in that case it's spare wood that the wood chuck could be chucking.. would the wood chuck chuck the spare wood that the wood chuck could chuck?

[Julz]

quote:Originally posted by bad dog mini

Can I also pose the perplexing question 'Why does she sell seashells on the seashore?'


She sells seashells on the seashore because is she sold sheself on the seashore she'd get arrested!!:eek::clown:

[Burple]

quote:Originally posted by Julz


quote:Originally posted by bad dog mini

Can I also pose the perplexing question 'Why does she sell seashells on the seashore?'


She sells seashells on the seashore because is she sold sheself on the seashore she'd get arrested....


....And quite possibly a bad case of Limpets.... ;):p:D

[Big Col]

and a sand box...

[Gismo]

Some crustaceans perhaps :I

[Burple]

... and covered in salty Seamen er... sailors...




....Have I taken that too far??;);):D

[Gismo]

quote:Originally posted by low_n_loud1
....Have I taken that too far??;);):DYes :D and any references to Capt Pugwash is not allowed :I