Banned from Sainsbury's

[Delboy]

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so much.

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's - didn't like shopping there anyway.

[Craig]

An old one, but still funny ;)


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[Mini Ecosse]

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so much.

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's - didn't like shopping there anyway.

They do say the old ones are the best :yawn:
Anyway you should be busy buying coal:thumbs up:
And what about company not paying for Christmas night out:argh:

[stoney]

ha ha ha :lol: classic :yes nod:

[Delboy]

Sorry guys, it is an old one but I still laugh at it :yes nod:.

Stephen - you mean the company normally pays for your Christmas night out?!! I don't think they've ever paid for our's :argh:. Better get back to buying coal I suppose...:smilewinkgrin:.

[GCA3N]

Del......:frown::frown::frown:

:smilewinkgrin::smilewinkgrin:

[RobSco]

Classic Del... :laugh::laugh::laugh: Definitely a Classic... :thumbs up:

[ELFMAN]

'Winalot' - isn't that King Arthur's house?

I used to like 'Boneo', but he lost form after 'The Joshua Tree'.

I'm banned from the Co-Op, but that's because I believed that phoney 'Naked Half-Price Thursday Shopping' poster...