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GCA3N
5th May 2010, 04:41 PM
Some Rules for the up coming World Cup.

1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the spports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail too do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2.During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3.If you have to pass by in front of the TV duri ng a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4.During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat.You are out off your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.

5.It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packss in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to niibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over too watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use thhe TV between 12am and 6amm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6.Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time"". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier aand I will love you less. Rememmber, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement"" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and yo u can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only iif the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game ; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse too "spend time together".

8.The replays of thhe goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again, Many times.

9.Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his housee on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11.The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seeen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply wil l be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12.And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank Good the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because before aand after this comes the Champions League,, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FAA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.

P/S
Byy the way if you get stuck on the road call tthe Police or AA.
Thank you for your coperation.

N16SHP
5th May 2010, 04:47 PM
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Absolutely tremendous Greig!!!

D3 JDA
5th May 2010, 05:48 PM
Good one Greig :thumbs up::smilewinkgrin::hand::cool: