Big Gordy
19th December 2008, 04:57 PM
Recently I received a parrot as a Christmas gift.
Alas, the parrot had a very bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently speaking only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to sanitise the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, after endless, fruitless hours, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back!
I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
So, in desperation... I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in... the freezer.
For a few minutes I could hear the parrot squawking and kicking and screamimg.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said...
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and inexcusable actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."
I was flabbergasted at the change in the bird's attitude ...bewildered!
Just as I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird interjected apprehensively:
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
Alas, the parrot had a very bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently speaking only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to sanitise the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, after endless, fruitless hours, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back!
I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
So, in desperation... I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in... the freezer.
For a few minutes I could hear the parrot squawking and kicking and screamimg.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said...
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and inexcusable actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."
I was flabbergasted at the change in the bird's attitude ...bewildered!
Just as I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird interjected apprehensively:
"May I ask what the turkey did?"