sedgie
6th August 2008, 08:10 PM
Don't Fart in Bed!!
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard,
let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit
of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes
water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and
that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was
concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl
where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the
elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey
guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the
sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit
her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I
got most of them back in.
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard,
let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit
of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes
water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and
that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was
concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl
where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the
elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey
guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the
sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit
her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I
got most of them back in.