Big Gordy
18th March 2004, 12:29 AM
On a farm out in the country, lived a man and a woman
and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke.
While looking out the window toward the pasture, she
saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the
field. The situation looked hopeless to her - how could
she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a
depressed state of mind, she hung herself.
When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as
the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the
situation, and he shot himself in the head.
The oldest son woke to discover his parents dead (and
the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and
drown himself. When he reached the river, he discovered
a mermaid sitting on the bank.
She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your
despair. But if you will have sex with me five times
in a row, then I will restore your parents and the cow
to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times,
he was simply unable to get it up again. So the mermaid
drowned him in the river.
The second oldest son woke up. After discovering what
had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the
river.
The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with
me ten times in a row, then I will make everything right."
And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it
was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned
him in the river.
The youngest son woke up, saw his parents dead, the
dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided
that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down
to the river to throw himself in. And there he also
met the mermaid.
"I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything
right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times
in a row."
The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty
times in a row?" The mermaid was somewhat taken aback
by this request.
Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a
row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his
request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have
sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring
everybody back to perfect health."
Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know that
thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the
cow?
:p:D:approve:
and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke.
While looking out the window toward the pasture, she
saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the
field. The situation looked hopeless to her - how could
she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a
depressed state of mind, she hung herself.
When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as
the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the
situation, and he shot himself in the head.
The oldest son woke to discover his parents dead (and
the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and
drown himself. When he reached the river, he discovered
a mermaid sitting on the bank.
She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your
despair. But if you will have sex with me five times
in a row, then I will restore your parents and the cow
to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times,
he was simply unable to get it up again. So the mermaid
drowned him in the river.
The second oldest son woke up. After discovering what
had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the
river.
The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with
me ten times in a row, then I will make everything right."
And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it
was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned
him in the river.
The youngest son woke up, saw his parents dead, the
dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided
that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down
to the river to throw himself in. And there he also
met the mermaid.
"I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything
right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times
in a row."
The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty
times in a row?" The mermaid was somewhat taken aback
by this request.
Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a
row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his
request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have
sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring
everybody back to perfect health."
Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know that
thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the
cow?
:p:D:approve: